You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you.Dave Ramsey
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As I reflect on my career and business, for today’s show topic, I realize how curious I have become about my relationship to money. I can clearly see all the ups and downs financially due to things that have been beyond my control.
So, I always try to look at the things I can control. What I’ve learned, I can only control myself and how I respond to situations. When the economy changes, and it always does, I am always grateful for our savings set aside for emergencies but also for my future! I believe it’s about being aware of my current situation, having a plan to support my future objectives and goals, and knowing when to change my plan.
So I ask you, what’s your relationship with money? Are you thinking, “Connie, I love money, I love spending my money, and money is great!” Or are you thinking, “Hmm, that’s a very good question. I feel like I never have enough money, and no matter how hard I work, money seems to be hard for me to hold onto.”
No matter which side you fall on with my questions, guess what? We all have money issues. So how do we dig in and change our relationship with money?
The Energy Of Money With Chella Diaz (EP. 96)
I have my free gift, my Communication Style Assessment. That will also help you move the needle of owning your superpowers as we communicate and how our messages are received. You will get a secondary report. You get the superpower report, and you get the blind spot, which is our lowest score that could be even more magical for you to understand how you are showing up for people different from you and what you need to do. Let’s take control of that and shift our mindset. Please be sure to take yours.
My motivational quote is by Dave Ramsey. He says, “You must gain control over your money, or the lack of it will forever control you.” As I wrote the intro, I reflected on my career in business for this topic. I realize how curious I have become about my relationship with money like this is a thing. As I reflect back, I can see the ups and downs financially due to things that have most times been beyond my control. I always try to look at the things I can control.
What I have learned is I can only control myself and how I respond to situations. When the economy changes, which we are seeing it now, I’m always grateful for the savings that we have set aside for emergencies, but also for the savings I continue to put in for retirement as I age. It is about being aware of my situation, having a plan to support my future objectives and goals, and knowing when to change the plan.
I’m going to ask you, “What is your relationship with money?” Are you thinking, “Con, I love money? I love spending money and money is great.” On the flip side, are you thinking, “That is a good question? I feel like I never have enough. No matter how hard I work, money seems to be hard for me to hold onto and no matter which side you are falling on.” I have an answer for you.
My wonderful friend and guest is Chella Diaz. She knew at a very young age how to manage money. At nine years old, she would go to the farmer’s market. She knew the vendors that had the best products and the lowest prices. She purchased her car at 17 and her first home at 23. For several years, she has been on her spiritual journey. She has been hosting workshops to empower people to change their values and attract their ideal clients. Please help me welcome my wonderful dear friend, Chella, to the show. Thanks for being on.
About Chella Diaz:
Chella knew at a very young age how to manage money, at 9 years old, she would go to the farmer’s market and knew the vendors that had the best product at the lowest price. She purchased her car at 17 and her first home at 23.
For over 15 years, Chella has been on her spiritual journey. Chella has been hosting workshops to empower people to charge for their value and attract their ideal clients.
How to Get in Touch With Chella Diaz:
This is going to be awesome.
We love study time together. Hold on to your hats.
Take out a notebook, pen, iPhone, or wherever you take notes because we are going to give them many tips that they want at the end of the show. I know they want to take some action.
Action is where we get the magic in our lives. How does the money conversation we listen to as kids impact our financial picture?
The Money Conversation
This is an actual exercise. If we think about the money conversations we listen to, what I call money drama, as kids, we put on our own interpretation and spin. As we grow that spin, think of it as that conversation changes outfits so it grows with us. Once we identified whether you have to work hard, which is mine. I grew up with that one. Money doesn’t grow on trees. We can’t afford whatever it was.
I acknowledge it. That is what happened. Acknowledge that it was a gift given to you. It was the adults. Sometimes the adults wanted to prepare us. They didn’t want us to make the same mistakes they did. They wanted us to have a better life. What they didn’t realize was that in the process they gave us, they gifted us some limiting beliefs. It is identifying and becoming aware of how that has impacted your current financial picture. Once you make the connections and connect the dots, it will make it a lot easier for you to make different choices.
Once you become aware, you become aware of monkey chatter. What is that monkey chatter that you are telling yourself? Are you saying, “I can’t afford it, it is hard to make money, and I cannot find clients?” It is similar to sales. We have that thing. What is that internal dialogue that is going on? You will be able to change it. When we become aware, we are in a position to make a change.
It goes back to what I said at the onset. We are getting older. I look at the ups and downs in the financial picture of my husband and I having kids, economies changing, job losses, and all of those things. It impacted. With my spiritual side and all of that, I’m starting to look and say, “Was that the truth? What happened? Was it things beyond my control? What can I control?” That is what you are saying. Reflect, understand, and it is not serving me anymore. I’m the one in control to say, “That is a limiting belief. I don’t need it anymore. It isn’t serving me. This is a better belief to rewire or reprogram my brain.” That is what we are talking about.
I’m going to give them the frame. This is one of my mentors/coaches. It was like, “I am the thinker of my thoughts. I choose to move my attention to, and whatever that is.” As of this recording, I use that formula. You can use it for many different things. For me, I used it to give up many years of Diet Pepsi addiction.
I used it. I am the thinker of my thoughts. I choose to move my attention. Diet Pepsi was not serving me, but I couldn’t give it up. You can do that. When you are procrastinating around making calls, procrastinating, or calling out former clients to ask for resources, it doesn’t matter what the subject matter is. I’m the thinker of my thoughts. I choose to move attention to, and you choose to move my attention to something else.
In the beginning, from personal experience, you may need to get up and go to a different room because we are programmed with this stuff. We need to move our bodies. Jumping jacks work well because we need to change. When you do that, you are able to come back, and you are in a different space. You will be able to make those calls.
I like the idea of the jumping jacks. It is like you are removing the energy. Go to another room, as you are saying, “This is what I’m choosing now.” That moves the energy of whatever that lack was or whatever that limiting belief was. It was funny as you were talking about working hard. That is one of my things. We are in sync now. The conversation before the recording was like you were in my head.
We were having dinner. My boys are still home. The kids were joking around. My husband and I were happily married for many years. I was being snarky. We are goofing around. My older son said, “They are getting divorced. We are not. We were talking, and I’m like, “Who would you live with if we got divorced?” I’m going to get the older one. He is going to get the younger one. We are giggling as we are doing this. My little guy said to me, “Dad and I will have fun. You will work more” I said, “You are probably right if I have less responsibility. I would work more.”
I was thinking, “He was right.” That doesn’t mean that is the right thing to do because that would be my natural instinct. I work harder because I was raised to work hard, you have money, and things happen. I’m not ashamed of being a hard worker, but to the extent that I work, that is not healthy. It was a slap in the face, in a good way, that he made me reflect for a minute about why I think I have to work hard. I don’t.
I had the same situation. My dad is working hard. When I first went out and got paid to do a speaking engagement, my body went into shock because how is getting in front of a crowd to talk about something I truly love working hard? It went against those principles. I speak from experience when I say, “I have tested. I am my best client. I have done the work.” It works. We need to put a little bit of work into it because you are changing however many years of programming. We are constantly being programmed. We are programmed by adults, television, and everything around us. We are being programmed that things need to look a certain way.
Look at the media and inflation. Everything is costing more. The sky is falling. That is what I hear. I don’t even watch the news anymore because I can’t control the economy. I can control myself. What do I need to do? Maybe I need to network a little bit more. You said it before. I go back to my clients and say, “I haven’t spoken in a while. I miss you. What is going on? How can I help you?”
I’m coming from this place of service. All of a sudden, doors start opening. The sky isn’t falling. What can I control? Here is the other thing. I’m curious to hear where you land with this. I’m starting to choose things that I want to do, not that I feel I have to do. There is a little bit of another shift for me. I don’t know. What do you think?
You Don’t Have To
Who says we have to? There is no should. We shouldn’t be shunned anything. I love what I do. There are certain things within what I do that I don’t care about. There is a proportion, but until you get to the point where you are able to hire those out, I’m not saying that you are going to love 100% of what you do, but it is the have to.
I enjoy going to networking events. I enjoy meeting new people. Those I thrive. I’m good at follow-up. There are certain things that, between those, there is a bridge that I don’t care for. I don’t care for the paperwork, but at the beginning, you have to do some of those things. Becoming aware that the minute I make this amount of money, I’m going to hire this out.
I know we are talking about money. That has to do with when we have to because a lot of us feel that we have to go to family or friends gatherings. If that person is low vibration, I’m sorry, we don’t have to. If we do, because whatever, let’s be there for a short time. I usually have a two-hour expiration time. I go in, mingle, talk to people, and I’m out.
I know people take things to the extreme. Extremes are never good in my world. I believe the pendulum swings. We want to hover and stay in that moderate middle section in life overall. Sometimes, you have a responsibility. You have to go to that low-vibration person, “I’m loving it. I’m going to use that. What is my expiration time for this engagement that I have to be or this person I have to go visit or see?” You do what you have to do, but you know what your exit strategy is.
We keep talking about when we are children, the messages that money doesn’t grow on trees. We can’t afford that. I remember my mom saying, “We were poor.” Were we rich? No. Was there a roof over our heads, great food on the table, and clothes on my back? Yes. We weren’t poor. She was a depression-baby. In her mind, it was never enough because she lived through the depression. She was like, “What if that happens again?” It was fear-based, the monologue or dialogue that she had with us. It comes up a lot in me as an adult with my kids. They have jobs and savings, and in the conversations we are having, I’m catching myself because now I’m the mother sharing that message.
Things To Reflect On
That is another good way to monitor the thought process. What are some other ways? We are saying, “Look back at your childhood.” What are some of the tools, strategies, and tips you share so that people have something tangible after they read this blog to sit for five minutes and reflect on what? What would you recommend?
If you grew up having to work hard, look at what you are doing. If we love what we do, and I know that Connie and I do, but what about me time? I have been there. If you find yourself working 12 to 14 hours a day, as much as you love it, where is that time? Why are we doing that? Are we busy doing? Are we ready to delegate? There is no right you have to work 6 to 8 hours because I sometimes have 10-hour days and sometimes I have 4-hour days, depending on what is there.
Are you busy doing that you don’t have time to enjoy? Sometimes we get caught up and busy. We don’t enjoy it. That is why I think it is time to step back and figure out, “What can I let go of? What can I put on the back burner?” It is not that you are deleting it, but what could I delete? Give yourself two weeks and see what that feels like.
I use the F word a lot. It is like a feel. Where is your body? What are the emotions and feelings? What is your body telling you? If you find yourself tired and not getting enough rest, your body is talking to you. It is time to listen. Your body is going to give you a lot of the signals. All we need to do is become aware and start listening.
Your body is going to give you a lot of signals. All we need to do is become aware and start listening. Share on XThe other one is where you listen to we can’t afford it. Whatever the reason, we can’t afford it. To throw a party, we can’t afford to do extras. We can’t afford to pay the gas bill and electric bill. As an adult, I have seen this play out in two different cases. You have the person that did that. Because they don’t ever want to go back to that emotionally, they spend every penny. They are busy wanting to not feel those feelings as a child.
We have the person that saves every possible penny to the point where they don’t have any joy or fun. They don’t treat themselves out to dinner or vacations every five years. They are busy. It is about finding the middle ground and not spending every paycheck, but also not saving every penny. It is finding that middle ground. Sit down. The best way to learn this is by going to the grocery store and becoming aware, and I know you are going to be a little bit of a stalker there, but hang out with a mom or a dad with kids or somebody with kids. It doesn’t even have to be the parents. It could be a grandma. Listen to how they are talking to the kids. That is going to bring back memories for you.
There is so much happening at the grocery store. I don’t do that as often now, but it was such a learning for me. Becoming aware of how other parents or other adults were talking to kids about money. If you do this a couple of times, go to the grocery store and become aware because that is going to trigger something in you. That is going to say, “I remember listening to that. Somebody said that to me.” That is the easiest way to get you back.
If you are sitting there wanting to do something, it is not going to show up. Go to the grocery store, toy store, or CVS, and hang out at the toy section. I have done field trips at CVS. CVS has a great toy section. They have tons of toys but become aware of what the adults are saying, “This kid wants this toy. What is it?” That is going to help you. It is all about you. Sometimes it is easier for us to learn a lesson when we see it outside of ourselves.
If there are kids behind you, listening to the conversation at a restaurant or the beach, tune into how a parent is talking to a child and see what it stirs up in you or your memory because here is the tool. You are like, “I have heard conversations at the grocery stores.” Yes, you didn’t hear it from the framework or the perspective of, “Did that bring anything up? Did my mom say that to me? Did my dad say that to me? Does this feel familiar?” All of a sudden, you are looking through the lens of your inner child, in essence. What that conversation is live in front of you unfolding when you were in the little carriage with your mom and she was pushing you around. What does that evoke?
I like that because it is a trigger. I find it hard to sit, reflect and think, “When I was a kid, what were those limiting beliefs?” Nothing comes up because we are putting stress on ourselves. We are sitting here, and I have to think about what are those limiting beliefs. I can’t think of any to become the spiral of you going nowhere. I love that tangibility, CVS, the food store, and the beach. I love hearing how parents talk to the kids on the beach. It cracks me up. These are all good tangible things. I want to ask you another question. How can being grateful bring more abundance into your life? I use it, but I am curious about your take on that.
A lot of people talk about this. I love to give this task to my high school students. High school students, for the most part, don’t have a job. When they said, “How are you going to give back?” They will say, “We don’t have a job. We can’t give anything. We don’t have money.” That is not true because we know they have money. The parents give them money, but they say, “I don’t have a job. I can’t give.” Gratitude, for me, what I ask them to do is like, “Go out to an afterschool program and read for somebody. Go to the library and donate.” It is about when you begin to give. 1) You are going to get back. My body is getting chills all over. 2) You don’t know how you are going to impact them, but also how they are going to impact you. It is simply by giving.
You can write a check or send some cash. You can do all of that, which is great. It is about sharing your skillset. Not to the point, but sharing and giving tips, especially on social media. What can you do? You always do this, Connie. You come from a place where, how can I give? How can I serve? Who can I help? When you begin to practice that on a daily basis, it is being grateful.
This is going to be a tough one for some. When you get ready to pay out your monthly obligations, can you be grateful that you have the funds to meet the obligations? That was a game-changer for me. I had the money, but was I grateful for that? Energetically, you are changing. It is almost like you are sending out the red carpet. Can you imagine putting out the red carpet for all your obligations that you are putting it out and wishing them well? You are sending a message. It could be in many different ways, but you are going to get more of that.
I never thought about this. It was a subconscious thing, especially when I pay the gas and the electric bill, I run hot, and I don’t like the heat. It makes me nauseous. Every time I write those bills, I go, “I love my air conditioning. Thank you for that AC. I get to sleep at night. For that ceiling fan, the electricity keeps that ceiling fan at night going.” I never thought about it, but yes, I am grateful for the ability to have the AC on, be able to pay that bill, and not say, “We don’t have the money. I better keep it at 80 degrees.” I would die.
You Are Blessed, Be Grateful
Here is the other thing, Chella. Let’s say I came from that place of, “We don’t have the money. We have to raise the thermostat from 70 or 71 to 75 or 76 because that will save money.” How much are you saving? How productive am I going to be if I’m sweating and feeling disgusting? I can’t even think to be creative, serve others, and show up. Think of the ripple effect every time you pay whatever that bill is. ShopRite, when I see it on our debit card and checking account, “We had some good food this week.” I don’t even realize I’m doing it but be grateful for whatever that bill or payment brought to you because we are blessed that we have the money.
The other thing I wanted to say, as you were saying that is about tax time. We all go, “It is tax time.” Every time I write those checks to the government, I say this out loud to people when I hear them complain. I go, “Isn’t it wonderful?” Forget about if it is too much taxation. 1) You have the money to pay your taxes. 2) You are paying taxes because you have earnings. That ripple effect of, “Because now I owe taxes, that means I’m earning money.” It goes full circle for me. Does that make sense?
I become aware of the abundance around you. I happen to find money every time I go to the grocery store. I don’t go often. I only go once a week. I went to different stores. I found two pennies. Other people were like, “I’m not going to bother with a penny.” I am grateful that I found the penny. I go to pick it up, and I do a squat along the way. I have money, and I’m getting healthy. The largest amount I found on the floor was $23.85.
If you are out and you find time left on the meter, are you grateful that you found time? There is so much around us. One of your neighbors has a lemon tree. Are you grateful when they bring you lemon trees? We get a lot more things that we are aware of, not as in a judgment. I have been to the coffee shop. The person in front of me had a gift card. They left the balance for me to use. That stuff happens to me all the time because I am grateful all the time. Becoming aware of, somebody got me a lemon, somebody bought me lunch, and somebody gave me this, it adds up. Your vibration is at that level that it keeps expanding and growing from that, which we could talk about for hours on that.
I’m sponsoring the book. You and the other authors are sending me people, but here is the coolest part of it. I’m excited because I’m getting to meet these new people and put together this great anthology that is going to have a ton of information about building community. I’m meeting these amazing authors and business owners in corporate careers. We are collaborating and creating beyond the book. See that little bit of that ripple effect, Chella, raising awareness, being grateful, and being excited.
Everybody thinks you have to sit there and feel gratitude. Yes, you do, but it is as simple as like when we finish and be like, “I’m glad I got to hang out with Chella. That was so much fun. I feel good inside now.” That one minute of reflection of letting that goodness and that feeling come in helps us in business and sales.
We are talking business. Money is business. I like money. I love that exchange of energy. Every time I have referred to someone or spent time with someone helping them out and you are not getting paid, I’m like, “Jump on fifteen minutes. I can help you with that. It is a quick fix.” They will send me a referral because you serve and help them. There were no strings attached. It was the right thing to do at that moment. I have lived off referrals for 40 years for a reason. It is because I give first. There is never a string attached. You end up not liking me. I’m cool with that. If I never hear from you again, I’m cool with that. At the moment, I knew I did what I wanted to do and felt that that person deserved whatever that amount of tension or time was for me.
If you are giving with strings attached, I don’t think you should give. Cancel that call. If you are giving to get something back, the energy is off. Until you get into that place where I want to give and be detached from the outcome, it is not you. The energy that you are putting out is not helping yourself.
If you are giving with strings attached, you shouldn’t give. Share on XI will share a tangible story with that because I agree 100%. I met someone in networking, and I don’t remember what the network was in the middle of 2021. A couple of times, I saw her in the networking. She emailed me with questions about certain things. She took my CSA. She was like, “Here are my results. What do you think?” I emailed back, saying, “I would work on this. I see this.” I share some strategic things.
At the beginning of 2022, I get an email from her, “Can we jump on a call? I need to talk to you.” I’m like, “Sure, I hope everything is okay.” She was like, “Everything is okay. I want to pick your brain.” I’m like, “Okay, no problem.” We got on, and she said to me, “Do you know I’ve met you three times, whatever the events were, and via emails a couple of times? Each time I asked a question, you were the one that answered freely from your heart. I implemented whatever the strategy was, and it worked. I want to hire you,”
I said, “Okay, cool.” This was the conversation.” She said, “Your signature program.” I said, “Can I ask you some questions?” She was like, “Sure.” We ended up the right thing for her was to hire me one-on-one. We moved her needle. Within three months, she was rocking it. She didn’t need my nine-week program and group coaching. That is what she thought she was going to get because that is what I promote. After talking to me for three months, she is sending me people now.
Here is the thing why I’m telling you this story. It is not because Connie got business. She asked me a question about this networking, but nobody answered. I said, “Can I chime in? I think I can help.” I said, “Try this and try that.” I did that three times with her. She ended up hiring me. She sends me people all the time as referrals because it was networking. She asked the question. I had the wherewithal and the knowledge to answer it. She implements it. She got the reaction. She thought, “Connie is the real deal.” Magic happens. There are no expectations.
There are no expectations because you were giving to give. It is when we give in the back of our mind thinking, “I want to get something out of it.” That is a whole different energy. If you are not willing to be detached from the outcome, I don’t think you should give. You are going to be frustrated and resentful. Don’t even get to that point.
Vibrational Energy
That is the vibrational energy. If you are vibrational, it is what you started with the have-to’s, “I have to see that person.” Vibrationally, they drain the living life out of you. What is the expiration date on the time limit? Leave at that time limit. You are in control of the situation. You could control your energy. You don’t take a nose dive because then no production, no result, no good outcome is going to come from that because it drains your energy.
As business owners, we forget that because it is our own paycheck. If you have a career and a corporate job, money is energy. What are you expending? You are getting paid for that. How are you receiving that income? It goes back to all the examples we use. We are out of time. I don’t know about you, but I love Chella. I get her in my life. I’m lucky. You need her in your life. There have been two ways to connect with her. Please go to her website, which is ChellaDiaz.com. If you have a question for her specifically, email her at MoneyMap101@Gmail.com and she will respond to you. Additionally, you have a free gift. Tell everybody what it is.
It is a recording. It is going to help you find your money. It is about finding your money leaks. We talked about energetically, where you are, and you let go. The one thing is not when you identify. I’m a huge letter writer. When you become aware whether you are at the beach, at the grocery store, or wherever you are, of that money drama that you listen to as a child, write a letter to the event, to the scene. It may take a couple of letters.
It is imagining that you had taken this information from your head. It is flowing through your arm, and you are putting it on paper. That is a way for you to identify it and release it. The magic is to put out a letter asking what you want. Letter writing is the best therapy. It is something you can control because you don’t have to go anywhere. I would recommend to do some letter writing, take a little bit of time, go to the grocery store, toy store, or the beach, and become aware of what some of the other folks are saying, especially to children, because it is going to help you find yours.
Letter writing is the best therapy. It is something you can control because you don't have to go anywhere. Share on XFinding Your Money Leaks
The free gift is a video to help people find their money leaks.
It is going to be three steps to finding your money leaks.
I have one last question before we sign off. We all have money leaks. Nobody is immune to this.
What is great about that is once you become aware of it, you can choose something different. I had one young lady. She was spending about $300 on makeup every month. I’m not a huge makeup person. I know that is a great deal and all. She wasn’t ready to give it up. I said, “That is great, but when you are ready, you will have the tools. They are going to help you get there.” Live music events are my money leak. Some people do shoes. I do live music events. We all do, but it is about becoming aware and knowing. Be it okay with that is going to be awesome.
I want to spend the $300 a month on makeup. It is my guilty pleasure. I don’t do anything else. I’m spending $300 a month. It is making the choice of why you are spending the $300 not to fill a void because it brings you pleasure. For me, it is my eyelashes. I’m never giving it up. I don’t spend any money on myself. My eyelashes are my thing. I love it.
You gave them a $25,000 tip. It is about becoming aware so that you are not filling a void. When we fill a void, that is when we get in trouble. Eyelashes and live music events are my treat and reward. It is our reward because we want to be kind to ourselves. That is not filling a void. That is the difference.
Please check out that video. It will be a short video but worthwhile. Start to play with some of the strategies we talked about. I’m a broken record at the end, Chella. I always say this. Reading the blog and gaining information is a beautiful thing to learn. If you do nothing with this information, nothing is going to change. Please apply it in your life, business, and career. Watch the magic that starts to unfold before you. It is not a trick. It is magic in a certain way, but you have to take the information and apply it.
If you love me, don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe so you don’t miss an episode, but also join my All-Star Community. It is inexpensive. You get me twice a month. I love to see and meet you. I love to share our experience and expertise together to make the world a little bit better place. Chella, thank you so much for being thought-provoking and sharing many amazing tangible tips that people can apply after they read the blog. Thank you so much.
It has been an honor and a pleasure.
Always the same hanging out with you. I hope you will join me weekly as we question, build and discover together. No matter where you are on your journey with a business career, my guests and I are here to help you improve, whatever that means to you, to help make your business life a little bit easier. Thank you again for tuning in. Thank you again, Chella. As always, I’m honored to have you on this journey. I hope you create some magic in your life. We will see you next episode. Have a great one. Thanks.
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